"What else can I be" returned Scrooge, "when I live in such a world of fools as this? Merry Christmas! Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older and not an hour richer; a time for balancing your books and having every item in 'em through a round dozen of months presented dead against you? If I could work my will," said Scrooge, indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with "Merry Christmas," on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!"
"Uncle" pleaded Scrooge's nephew (Bob Cratchit)
"There are many things from which I might have derived good, by which I have not profited, I dare say," returned the nephew. "Christmas among the rest. But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round- apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that- as a good time: a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open up their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe it has done me good, and will do me good:and I say, God bless it"
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Paraprosdokian sentences
Paraprosdokian sentences
A "paraprosdokian" is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect.
1.)Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2.)I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
3.)The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
4.)Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
5.)If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
6.)We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
7.)War does not determine who is right -- only who is left.
8.)Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
9.)The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
10.)Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening," and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
11.)To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
12.)A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.
13.)How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
14.)Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
15.)I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.
16.)A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
17.)Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR."
18.)I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
19.)Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
20.)Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
21.)Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
22.)A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
23.)You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
24.)The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
25.)Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
26.)A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
27.)Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
28.)Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
29.)I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
30.)Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
31.)There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
32.)I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
33.)When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
34.)You're never too old to learn something stupid.
35.)Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
36.)A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
37.)If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
38.)Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
A "paraprosdokian" is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect.
1.)Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2.)I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
3.)The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
4.)Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
5.)If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
6.)We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
7.)War does not determine who is right -- only who is left.
8.)Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
9.)The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
10.)Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening," and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
11.)To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
12.)A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.
13.)How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
14.)Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
15.)I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.
16.)A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
17.)Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR."
18.)I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
19.)Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
20.)Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
21.)Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
22.)A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
23.)You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
24.)The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
25.)Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
26.)A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
27.)Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
28.)Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
29.)I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
30.)Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
31.)There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
32.)I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
33.)When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
34.)You're never too old to learn something stupid.
35.)Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
36.)A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
37.)If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
38.)Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
This week I tilted at one of the windmills I have been up against for a long time. I stood up for what I believe to be the right thing for students. I did not like having to "rock the boat" but many teachers thanked me for saying what I did. Change will come out of this, I do not like upsetting others but I do like standing up for those that can not stand up for themselves and especially those that are being cheated and they do not have the understanding to be able to realize they are the ones losing out.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Manners
We went to the YWCA for Water Aerobics class the other day. As we were going through the gate I noticed a young laddy that is taking the class for her prenatal exercises. I held the gate open as she went through without any response from her. She was followed by another lady who was from a previous generation and she said "Thank You" as she passed through. I was bothered that the first young lady did not acknowledge my gesture. Then I got to wondering "why should I be expecting anything in return?" I did something nice so what should I be expecting, a pat on the back? Isn't it enough that I had treated another human as a human and shown some respect for them.
One day I went to the Firestone to pick up Sophia's car. A mother with a little girl was coming out of the store. I opened the door and waited for the mother and her daughter come outside. The little girl came out the door and proceeded to go out into the parking lot. Mother did not like her getting away so she decided to stand in the doorway and yell at the little girl to get back up on top of the curb. She kept yelling at her daughter, daughter continued wandering around the parking lot and I stood there like a fool holding the door. Mom now was screaming but instead of going to get her daughter, turned around and started yelling at her husband that their daughter was not listening to her. I was still holding the door. Finally, when husband came to the door it was all cleared as the family all emptied out into the parking lot. I went inside, never acknowledged and glad to be away from such uncouth people.
When I returned to Lubbock, Texas recently, where I grew up, I would hold the door and would hear a "Thank You." I also had the door held open for me many times and I also gave a "Thank You." Now it was not because I expected these manners, but that I enjoyed people treating each other with respect and gentleness. I grew up with a belief that I should consider the feelings of others. Treat others as I would like to be treated. Is being nice to others, just to be thoughtful of the other person, a lost virtue?
One day I went to the Firestone to pick up Sophia's car. A mother with a little girl was coming out of the store. I opened the door and waited for the mother and her daughter come outside. The little girl came out the door and proceeded to go out into the parking lot. Mother did not like her getting away so she decided to stand in the doorway and yell at the little girl to get back up on top of the curb. She kept yelling at her daughter, daughter continued wandering around the parking lot and I stood there like a fool holding the door. Mom now was screaming but instead of going to get her daughter, turned around and started yelling at her husband that their daughter was not listening to her. I was still holding the door. Finally, when husband came to the door it was all cleared as the family all emptied out into the parking lot. I went inside, never acknowledged and glad to be away from such uncouth people.
When I returned to Lubbock, Texas recently, where I grew up, I would hold the door and would hear a "Thank You." I also had the door held open for me many times and I also gave a "Thank You." Now it was not because I expected these manners, but that I enjoyed people treating each other with respect and gentleness. I grew up with a belief that I should consider the feelings of others. Treat others as I would like to be treated. Is being nice to others, just to be thoughtful of the other person, a lost virtue?
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Facebook | Michael Rohr
Facebook Michael Rohr: "is learning that you'll never have EXACTLY what you want, but in the end God always gives you exactly what you need to make you into the person you should be."
Facebook | Michael Rohr
Facebook Michael Rohr: "is quiet, shy, sweet and innocent! Sorry I couldn't even TYPE that with a straight face! LOL"
Facebook | Michael Rohr
Facebook Michael Rohr: "Every new day is another chance to change something in your life.Every new day is a chance to feel blessed for what you have."
Facebook | Michael Rohr
Facebook Michael Rohr: "Life is about ignoring the drama, laughing with friends, loving your family, and being happy with what you have. ♥"
Facebook | Michael Rohr
Facebook Michael Rohr: "Hold the hand of the friend you trust, kiss the lips of the one you love. If you're, lucky the hand and lips will belong to the same person."
Facebook | Michael Rohr
Facebook Michael Rohr: "I love those random memories that make you smile, no matter what is going on in your life."
Facebook | Michael Rohr
Facebook Michael Rohr: "Every woman deserves a man who will look at her each day like she is the most amazing woman he's ever laid eyes on."
Facebook | Michael Rohr
Facebook Michael Rohr: "would like to thank those people who keep me laughing!"
Facebook | Michael Rohr
Facebook Michael Rohr: "My life isn't perfect, but it does have perfect moments."
Facebook | Michael Rohr
Facebook Michael Rohr: "Living my life to the fullest, trusting in God to get me through it, and knowing that at the end of the day what is meant to be will always find its way!"
Facebook | Michael Rohr
Facebook Michael Rohr: "says I couldn't ask for better friends. I could ask for normal friends, but where's the fun in that?!"
Facebook | Michael Rohr
Facebook Michael Rohr: "You may say i am crazy, but i am really a fruit loop in a world full of cheerios."
Facebook | Michael Rohr
Facebook Michael Rohr: "Instead of a sign that says 'Do Not Disturb' I need one that says 'Already Disturbed Proceed With Caution.'"
Facebook | Michael Rohr
Facebook Michael Rohr: "'you cant expect to live a positive life around negative people'"
Facebook | Michael Rohr
Facebook Michael Rohr: "In life we never lose friends, we only learn who our true ones are."
Facebook | Michael Rohr
Facebook Michael Rohr: "Never hold back on a hug or a smile. It may be the only sunshine some people see all day."
Facebook | Michael Rohr
Facebook Michael Rohr: "to make a difference, you must dare to be different."
Compliments
I bemoan the loss of the ability to compliment someone. I was raised to say "please" and "thank you", to greet people with a smile and a handshake, to compliment a person on how nice they looked or their selection of perfume and to leave a place nicer than how you found it. In society today such activity would put someone under suspect of ulterior motives. People don't shake hands but prefer to bump hands or not touch at all. It is safer not to say anything than be misconstrued by a comment taken the wrong way. I have a couple of friends that have lost weight and I won't say anything about it rather than be suspect of making a pass at them. It might be my own insecurities but have been in such situations and have seen others get in trouble for similar situations. My father's friends would ask me to shake their hands and would teach me how to give a good handshake. They said you could learn a lot about a person from how they shake your hand. I agree but find very few people return the gesture when I put out my hand to shake it. It is almost a social stutter on their part as they do not know how to react to someone offering this salutation.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Country retreats of Roman Emporers
I read an interesting article in "Smithsonian" about the country villa retreats of the Roman Emperors. The Villa Magna of Marcus Aurelius is located in the Valle del Secco in Lazio, south of the town of Anagni looked very interesting. I definitely want to see it. Another is Emperor Hadrian's Villa Adriana by the city of Tivoli about 30 km from Rome.Villa Adriana (Tivoli) - UNESCO World Heritage Centre.
Friday, June 11, 2010
"I have been things and seen places"
Going to change some direction. I will still discuss my philosophies but I am going to look for travel ideas, undiscovered places or places I want to see. As Mae West responded to someone saying "I have been places and seen things", "I have been things and seen places, that makes us about even."
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Student Quotes
"I know this, I just don't know it."
"On the spelling test, do I have to spell the whole word?"
"On the spelling test, do I have to spell the whole word?"
Friday, May 7, 2010
Construction
This is very interesting. I have even picked up Julia's blog, I am going to have to think about my direction with this, maybe I should start writing down my philosophies, pithy sayings and stories of my students. The students are a "cheap form of entertainment". And it is not worth doing unless you get a good story out of it.
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